no punks allowed.

I live in a precious little neighborhood full of friendly people with sweet children, friendly dogs, strolling babies, a crystal blue pool, large tennis courts, plush yards decorated for each season, and miles of trails for walking. It couldn't be more perfect right?

Well....we've lived in said location for mmm bout 5 years. And since living here, we've had 16 tomatoes thrown at our house, 1 bb gun shot through our fence, replaced 4 doorbells, had 6 eggs thrown at our car, and .
Seriously, have you ever had punks in your neighborhood? I mean I feel like punks are in every neighborhood and its probably inevitable but grrrrrrrrr they erk me.

First, definition of punk is: an offensive term for a young man regarded as worthless, lazy, or arrogant.
So pardon me if I offend.



Punk kid examples.
Now if you love leather jackets, and mohawks...great, fantastic. I do too. I asked for a leather jacket last Christmas, and I have a baby that sports a mohawk. on accident? yes, adorable? nonetheless. But I'm talking about the "tough guy" image they portray when in actuallity they mamas don't love them.

I'm talking about kids like such (above), that skateboard everywhere...without helmets, wearing their stupid little sketcher sneakers, and carrying their stupid little stickered up skateboards.. If you like to skateboard, cool. Just wear a helmet and do it in places that aren't prohibited.
Now I've dealt with these said skateboarding little punks for like my whole life. My Aunt once owned a lovely little Christian, Bible bookstore where "punks" would generally hang out. The little skateboarding bunch of loser kids seriously were so annoying, so pathetic with their unbrushed hair, sagging pants, and brightly colored shoestrings. and honestly I was terrified they would break their little necks on those skateboards as they plumeted off of their little homemade ramps. I mean I'm gonna go out on a limb and think maybe they were just looking for Jesus hanging around that place but coudn't they do it without their skateboards?

Ok, so tonight as we go for a evening family stroll....what do my wandering eyes appear? A little group of punks all showing their rear (a. because their pants were sagging, b. because they were falling all over the place off their skateboards).
So I decide, Oh My Goodness, this is it! I'll snap pics of them skating around the "Skateboarding is Prohibited" sign and totally turn them in to our "Home Owner Association" group. Busted. In. No. Time.

So girls, I instantly became a spy! It was like being a private detective, umm minus the top hat, the sketch pad and one of those really long tan trench coats.
I snap pics! I got the little "punks". (My Aunt Sue would've been so proud if I had done this at her shop years ago.)
These are the punks I've seen break my doorbell 3 times, the punks that once egged my dear husband's car, the idiots who ring the doorbell and run. I've seen these familiar little stinkin faces before, and at last, their mine! ALL. MINE! haha. evil? yes.
Oh and totally the best part, one of the friends shouted out the "biggest punk of all"s (if you will) name!

Oh and don't worry, they didn't notice me snapping their pics because my man and I developed a plan. We ran back to the house, grabbed our SUV with semi-tinted windows, loaded up the youngins and hauled off to "punk land" (where punks were last seen), once there...I climbed into the backseat and snapped tons of pics of them...skating around, vandalizing the picnic tables, the playground, and jumping off fences. It was indeed exciting.

My point? Patience. I've learned it. I was totally in the right place at the right time.
Oh and I'm so totally excited to turn them in. *smiles devilishly*

My other point: if you ride one of these...




wear one of these..


and don't skate around these..





now, onto shopping for a trenchcoat.